Ever since I started wearing my pentacle necklace to bed over my heart chakra, I've been having some very strange dreams: of people I've loved and people I've hated, but all I've known very well and are/were a part of my tumultuous past.
But last night...I think I might have had a dream about my child.
I had a miscarriage a time back, you see. That's why it disturbs me so much...and I'm not with the person anymore, so of course I've tried to escape from these memories. I had a very hard time of it, because I was too young to have a kid, and I never got help for all the trauma I went through. My own mother thought I lied about everything, and she took me to a therapist only once. Last night I found out that she had started seeing a therapist regularly and I thought, well, that's selfish of her.
And then I had the dream.
I was in a hospital waiting room, not really doing anything. And then I saw this child with this man, and my heart filled with emotion, as if this was something I've been searching for for a very long time. I remember thinking..."This might be my child...but how could it be?" Indeed, the child looked Asian, not anything like what mine would have looked like. I walked up to the man and asked, "Your son...is his mother alive or gone?" And he said, "Yes."
I got really excited then. But before I could ask him more, he turned away, not rudely, but just because he was preoccupied with someone else. He ws a bit shorter than me, I think 5'4" or 5'5", with brown hair. Not the father. I really can't explain why I was excited about the news of the mother...anyway, the rest of my dream was pretty much a blur, though I remember holding the baby at some point.
I guess that's it. Any explanation?
X-posted like wo.