thisismyjustice (thisismyjustice) wrote in garden_moon,

My mother and I had the argument of arguments last night. If anyone's familiar with the popular and hated band The Insane Clown Posse, that was the subject of the discussion. ICP has violent, angry, distasteful rap lyrics. My mother was in my room last night while I was at rehearsal and, while looking for a CD, found my borrowed ICP CD and listened to it. She got really upset. A while ago my mom found out about my religion, and a few days ago she found tarot cards in my backpack, and told me that was the first strike. Now, supposedly, this was the second strike. She really thinks I'm a Satanist. The problem is, ICP is by no means an irreligious group. She mistakenly interpreted the song "Priest Killers" to mean that the group was promoting antiChristianity. The song was really about a boy killing a priest who molested him.

What drove me to the edge was the violence of the argument. Whenever I tried to try to tell her that I wasn't a Satanist, that I didn't even believe in Satan, she scratched me and yelled at me. I'm bleeding on the arm from her nails. My father just stood there and watched. She yelled at me, said I was going to be put out of this house, said that I didn't even know what I was doing, that I was just a child. She was literally in my face, her eyes insane. She needs help, I think. When she was younger she was abused by her parents because they were Jehovah's Witnesses and it wasn't considered immoral to abuse one's child.

I'm at the very end of my rope. Today I'm going to go to the guidance counselor and tell her everything, ask her what I should do. If something doesn't change soon. I'm going to pack my stuff and move to my good, albeit very Christian, friend's house. That would mean giving up prom, community college, etc., but I think that I'm going to take a year off school anyway.

I can't take this.
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